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Happy Spring! [Mar. 20th, 2008|10:12 pm]
go out and make some daisy chains!
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So i guess im 15 now. [Jun. 30th, 2004|04:47 pm]
I dont want to get old.

In other news, Spyro and Tangey (tan-gee) are still alive. Its been 3, almost 4 days. I dont think they have eaten anything, although i am hoping that i am wrong. I hope they live long enough for me to let them go.
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New Shirt [Jun. 27th, 2004|11:41 pm]
[mood |artisticartistic]

I got a sewing machine for my birthday. (Which is still 3 days away.) I made a shirt. Hehe, i've been messing with the settings, and i still have no idea what i'm doing, but its a shirt nonetheless. Kind of cute, too. In a damaged sort of way.

I got back from NH today. It was nice up there. Basically, i slept, ate, went to Wal*Mart, and messed with my sewing machine. ALSO, i got two red spotted newts! They were in the forested area behind my house. Both are still in the eft stage, and they are quite small. I tried to feed them, but they wouldnt eat the chopped worm. Oh well, i'm off to the pet store tomorrow to see if they have any special pellets or anything that i could feed them.

I think i'm going to Salem for my birthday. With Katelyn and Becca. But i dont think its finalized I'll have to get back to you on that.
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Six More Days... [Jun. 24th, 2004|10:00 pm]
[mood |gloomygloomy]

Mom: My little girl is caught between 10 and 20.

My younger sister: No, shes still caught between 3 and 4.

Gee, thanks...

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The First Day of My Summer [Jun. 23rd, 2004|10:18 am]
[mood |determineddetermined]

"I don't want to be your other half, i believe that one plus one is two."

Not that it matters much anymore.

Today. The first day of summer. Katelyn is grounded. I have to get a shot. And i need to get plain white shoes because they are required as part of the uniform of where i am volunteering this summer. Now i need to go exercise. And i found the list of things i want to do this summer...I'll post it tonight...
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Why? Why does he make me feel this way? [Jun. 22nd, 2004|05:25 pm]
[mood |pissed offpissed off]

I don't understand Tom's thinking.  In fact, hes ALWAYS thinking.  All the time.  Even when hes just sitting there staring off into space, he has a far away look in his face. Thinking, always thinking, all the time. 

He has so many doubts about our relationship.  And he likes discussing them.  Today i was walking with him, and out of nothing he starts asking deep questions

  • Where do you think we will be in 5 years?
  • Am i just another person who will pass out of your life?
  • How long will we last? Five years, five months?
  • Are you just going along with this relationship because i love you?
  • Do you really love me?

It makes me so uncertain.  And then i start thinking about it. REALLY thinking about it. Do i love him?  Will we be together?

And then i get in a horribly pissy mood.

No, i don't think i love him in that complete way.  I do love him.  Just not in the way that will last forever.  Lets just say, i dont think i would die for him.  I would do a hell of a lot for him, but i am not completely in love with him.

For me, being in love and loving someone are two different things.  One you can have partial control over, and the other...well, it a matter of fate, i guess.

Why? You might be thinking.  I think we are too different. I think we have just drowned ourselves in each other.  We have been going out for just over four months.  Not too long.  But we have been together for almost every one of those days.  And it was just too much.  It was he who pushed me off the edge with my friends, although i can't blame him for it; it was inevitable for me to grow apart from them.  I can't help resenting him for not making new friends, although he partly lead me to Alycia.  But shes not a best friend.  I haven't gone anywhere with her on a weekend. 

Then again...i have never even been on a real date with Tom.  He has come over my house a few times, and he has stayed for dinner, but we have never gone anywhere.  Together.  We have gone for walks.  We practically lived at the pond. In short, i had very little chance at a social life.

And then there was frisbee.  Damn frisbee.  I HATE FRISBEE!!!  Tom plays ultimate frisbee almost everyday after school.  I hate waiting around for him, especially before Alycia started coming to practices.  I guess because it was awkward.  It made me feel dependant on him.  I don't like that feeling.  Although it is true, horribly true...

But now its summer!!!  Heh, it doesn't feel like it.  It feels more like a sunday (and i have an intense dislike for sundays) 

So now i won't see Tom as much.  I think this is what we need.  Hopefully i'll be able to do my own thing.

I found this online for Tom's horoscope.  I skimmed over most of it, but found this interesting:

Moon in the Seventh House

The Moon was found in the seventh house at the time of your birth.

Exciting romance may occur at an early stage in life. We must warn you, however, that unless modified by further interpretations, the partner may have fluctuating affections.  Um, YEAH

You're also one of those who throughout the relationship manifests a great variety of personality roles and who seldom shows in intimacy his real nature.

nach oben

Moon Opposition Ascendant

The Moon opposition the Ascendant shows that you try to become personally involved in the affairs of the people you know. Subconsciously, you need someone to need you at all times. You have a wide circle of friends who think highly of you because of your generous and kindly disposition. Nevertheless, you find it difficult to form individual, lasting relationships, because you are never really sure you can fulfill the responsibilities they entail.

You want to be loved, and you constantly dwell on this fact. You hate being alone, so any professional interest should involve personal contact with the public.

It is important that you learn to stand alone and secure in your independence. You persist in the hope that everything you desire will someday be realized.

Strangely accurate...


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I'm such a little kid. heh [Jun. 19th, 2004|10:10 pm]
[mood |gigglygiggly]

I love being home alone. My family went out to dinner, so i had the entire house to myself. It was great. I watched Tarzan! It was on the Disney channel. I'm such a sucker for these heartwarming movies..

Raise your head up
Lift high the load
Take strength from those that need you
Build high the walls
Build strong the beams
A new life is waiting
But danger's no stranger here

No words can describe a mothers tears
No words can heal a broken heart
A dream is gone, but where there's hope

Somewhere something is calling you
Two worlds, one family
Trust your heart
Let fate decide
To guide these lives we see
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I feel like such a goody goody. [Jun. 18th, 2004|01:15 pm]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]

I'm still at school. Just took my spanish final. (only one more to go!!) It was easy enough. I was having lunch in the caf and i found a wallet on a chair. It must have had at least $50. And it had a credit card. I didn't even hesitate, i just brought it to the office. I'm glad i did; my concience would have killed me if i didn't. I would have been nice to have the extra money though...especially because i'm going to Salem with Katelyn tomorrow...

Oh well, i'm babysitting tonight anyway.
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(no subject) [Jun. 17th, 2004|10:02 pm]
[mood |busybusy]

One thing about Tom; he can be very honest. Even when a little white lie would have been better. I don't know why it bothers me. I should be gald that he feels he can be completely honest with me. Maybe I'm too emotional? Maybe i shouldn't take what he says to heart? Maybe I should just be glad that he doesn't lie to me.

I had my history and english finals today. 1 1/2 hours each. English= 70 multiple choice and a 5 paragraph essay. History=120 multiple choice and a 5 paragraph essay. They weren't too difficult, just a lot of writing...

Tom came over today after school. We started talking about the Lord of the Rings (ick). I said that i have only read the Hobbit, and that i didn't like it, and that i thought it was too tedious, and it wasnt very enjoyable (or something like that). Well, it turns out that he is giving that to me for my birthday (13 days. I'll be 15) I felt horrible. GREAT.

Allie is leaving for Oklahoma tomorrow. Its too sad. I probably won't ever see her again.

Note to self: DON'T FORGET CAMERA!

I had a list of summer goals that i wanted to post...but i think i may have lost it...
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